My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
