I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
