You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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