The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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