im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
