Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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