Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
