the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
