the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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