At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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