it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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