So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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