definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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