I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
