I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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