I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
