Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
