What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
