i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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