Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
