We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
