just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
