a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
