she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
