just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
