Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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