I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
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