SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
