my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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