I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
