you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
