Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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