I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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