Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
