Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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