You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Drake has all the answers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
