By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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