a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
