i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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