Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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