Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize