I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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