I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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