New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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