I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
