420 ftw
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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