WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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