he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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