Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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