She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize