you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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