I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
two words...techno handjob
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize