she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
