I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
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i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
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I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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