google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
tell me about the fingering
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