the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize