She's JV to your varsity
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
