I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
