i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
